Giving

I've given up longing
And trying for you
I've stopped all the weeping
It's now up to you
I'm here where I am
You've had all the rest
I offer you more
I offer the best

I've given up secrets
All told in the dark
I've given up holes
You plowed with your spark
And a tongue & a rim
You took it as well
I've given up sadness
I've given up hell

I think I am feeling
I think I am real
I think I am flying
I think I am steel
I've given up flying
I've given up me
I've given up longing
LET ME SET YOU FREE

cas // right this very second you read this, whoever you is

Locals Only.

Locals Only.

what a local guy knows

is what all the locals know

he's had them all once

and formed a florid tableau

he knew what to render

and I aligned just right

he came with all my wishes

and a petite Saint canine

PS

there's no hair bands allowed

at this show tonight

leave the synthetics at home

preacher teach you right

preacher reach you right

preacher reach you right

star-death

Star-Death

The crises mid-life. Its nearly over then you die.

The club tournament. Its much the loss to those you win.

Poppa's strong water. Hold you just a bit longer.

Boulder break the ice. Suck him up, and do him twice.

Verses mend the bridge. Bridges built where worlds spin.

Prick thumbs the kid. While lookin' at you where he is.

Some hazy for me. Borne of Mr Mystery.

Someone's gotta bleed. But then we all gotta come'tagree.

Pain is kissing fox. Then hiding in a Champa soapbox.

Boy is stalking juice. Then drinking all that juice from you.

Go down to the club. The Willow one where there's no love.

Did you think he cared? When growls growled and nostrils flared?

Here's a closed place now. Closed but still wanting in somehow.

Here is any color. And words never spoken from any one other:

TO EACH HIS OWN

HIS OWN HAIRY FUCKER

PLAUGED BY A THRONE 

TO FOREVER REMEMBER

THE FUCK THE CRUEL 

THE AWF THE FUL

THE BROKE THE DOWN

THE HORN THE BULL

TO EACH DARK-SKY

A STAR-DEATH IS BORN

WROUGHT WITH A TEMPER

THAT EXISTS TO WARN

of THE PISS THE PRINCE

THE BODY THE BLOOD

THE CROWN THE THORNS

THE GUISE UNDER HOOD...

...a dream to me...

christopheralexandersommers

tonight

Jettison

JETTISON

"He's easier to avoid," she said, 

"if you slip in a buxom wave,

jettison onto the levy, 

missing only a part of your brain."

Simply he stood,

on the right and the left.

was vertically challenged,

under mutter of breath.

"I know you," he said,

"like girls know their middle,

like sailors know moons,

and stars know their twinkle."

Flying through clouds,

he would watch while I'd burn,

over and under,

knowing I'd still return.

Things might be heard,

from the mouths of the strange.

Still-stranger still-fire,

when within range.

The sheaf of minds,

I hence whip into come,

be tufts become lights,

become steel beaten drum.

"An easy 'stake," she said,

"letting them make you cry:

the boys on the levy,

the boys humping dry."

A more difficult time,

as the bottom on top.

Horizontally American,

like acid gumdrops.

"I know you," he said,

"how the wind leaves your chest,

when I drive your direction,

and make wolves manifest."

Like girls know their flow,

and wounds know to gush.

Souls stricken stone,

and then being crushed.

Like sailors know skies,

and carnivores hunt,

jettisoned brains,

splayed on waterfront.

cas // 6/9/16

DIAMONDS Creaming

DIAMONDS Creaming, or:

Shooting Diamonds

Invading… Baiting… & the vibrating…

If I’m passed would you be life-saving…

Blind thing, sugar-fling, dapper’d owl creaming…

Could I cross religions for your ikon dreaming?

Trophy time on the belt and the chips all dealt

And the notches on the bed: I shoulda quit while I’s ahead

Stranding… Landing… three plus ten branding…

If I’m alone could I still call it standing…

Sweet thing, sweet cling, little ole flannel thing…

If I stick around can we make it to the morning?

It’s the pull of my want and the wait drawn out

Or the blade of that will in the skill of your cut

Mud-bathing… Obligating… yodel-ay-hee-haying…

If I’m stuck degenerating & tambourine playing…

Black sea, heart beam, beetle-green bottle gleam…

If I shot diamonds at least maybe then you’d see me?

Left prints with your paws and stretched out my jaw
Left a tiny bit of drizzle dripping right abouts the middle

It’s the shine of my light to the grim of your knight

And our mystic-ass dance on a pearly-white expanse

christopheralexandersommers
today

Grand

grand

I want to be the man with brawn

Who stays all right when all goes wrong

It’s just the luck of the draw I guess

I really couldn’t tell you why

I want to keep the most control

And not allow you to take hold

It’s only shakes from the willow tree

I could get lost in your sky

But now there’s this and that and then

I cannot keep them in again

It’s just a cotton tulip show

To say I’m done’s a lie

I want to stay the one who's strong

The Iron Heart never melted down

Then my eyes began to flood

Right as your well ran dry

But now there’s who and with and when

And everlasting tales to spin

Grandest illusion of them all

And you really couldn’t tell me why

cas 52916

ain't got no title

This doesn't have a title

He said, “I can be your dream,
but it will only last tonight.
Remember when you fall asleep,
I’m gone at crowing light.”
I said, “You may think it’s me
you flee with cosmic rays.
But I am more than solar flares, believe,
I am the light of day.”

He told me, “If I take you there,
don’t hope for it to last.
I’m only good for what you see,
and my heart’s made of glass.”
I told him, “I am blower’s friend.
I’ll shatter upside-down,
the heart you hold inside your chest,
while wearing Maple crown.”

He whispered, “I will press your keys,
the white ones and the black.
The song won’t hold much levity, &
I will hold it back.”
I whispered, “I am not the keys,
I'm the entire thing.
I’m notes, I’m bars, I’m staff, I’m clef,
I’m spaces in between.”

He said, “Now I will play the roles,
of whoever you desire,
to get the wants that I would have,
yes I will be the liar."
I told him, “All the parts you play?
Seductive, I confess.
But the truth I am, the tales you spin?
Unparalled, at best."

He growled, “When this is over,
because for certain it shall be,
I’ll leave you in a wake of tears,
and you’ll be on your knees.”
I responded, with an eyebrow raised,
“I loathe to drop this bomb, but
in the end they all crawl back,
and curl up in my palm.”

CAS // 5.23.2016

The Trick to Angels

The Trick to Angels

the Spectres of love

shadowboxing in

poised to fight demons

boots laced to win

bags under eyes

purples & blues

worn from the weeping

stressed out from you

was WILD at first

fire not tamed

now I lie maudlin

prerequisite hate

I’ll go to your land

and trace beelines down

rob honey from hive

and burn to the ground

it’s my secret wish

you will not deny

both my secret wings

I won’t let you find

thought you were the Trick

a new happiness

angel to sins

if I had to guess

yet I got it wrong

I can’t call it love

the Trick to angels is:

you were never one

CaS o5.21.2016

Beast.

Beast

so watch us all take bets.

don’t give me a bite of your lust & flesh.

strut what I strut in a blood brotherhood,

I long to make some new debts.

watch every plane crash down into flames,

when Dragon brings his shame.

all Washingtons and sir Benjamins will prove:

I chase the Beast into the night.

I can get higher than you thought,

in the tempest of your drive.

Beast runs from me into the night.

this is no lie.

turn with the jackal, carnivate

my way to the top of the chain.

Lotus, a fungus, a dry heady thrust,

my drum beats tap in your brain.

even the ax can’t cut down the pain

when it chopchopchops away.
if Washington were sir Benjamin you'd lose:

I chase your Beast into the night.

I can be horror if you want,

in the fable of your life.

Beast runs from me into the night.

this is no lie.

I will light your way down

and then,

I will guide your way out

 of it.

I chase the Beasts, brother, into the night.

and I’ll do all that you’ve brought,

before I slip out of sight.

Beasts run from me into the night

this is no lie this is no lie this is no lie.

cas 5.20.16

Like, Only

Like, Only

Only smiling, because that’s what they want
Simply dying; I can’t have what I want
A paper chain link fence
A subtle hand blueprint
A little sideways myth
But you knew what I meant

Only playing, it’s what all boys do
Just reframing; me & you, us two
A furry-lipped debate
A mountainous heartbreak
A little lust enflamed
But this is what you made

Only diving, in an oyster’s shell
I’m surviving, in my strung up hell
A rigid sign thirteen
A post beneath the sheet
A stroll down ego street
But you know what I mean

CaS // may seventeenth // two-thousand-sixteen

HEART.BEAT

HEART.BEAT

It destroys me silent in a washed up way.
Its goes straight for mine eyes; I cannot remain.
In the same heart.beat I feel fueled and then fucked.
In the same landscape I lose Rabbit’s foot luck.
It rips apart muscles when you speak and not speak.
It preys upon prey when it’s believed to be weak.
In the same heart.beat I am golden I’m rock.
In the same mistake I gifted keys for my locks.
It’s a drill-bit coat with a blanket-all cold.
It’ll cover my wounds with a goat-made fold.
In the same heart.beat you give life you give death.
In the same caskette I will tend to my bed.
It’s an eat by day and a stalk by night.
It’s a carry me above by a raven’s winged flight.
In the same heart.beat I felt love I felt brave.
In the same happenstance you snatched it away.
In the same heart.beat I am awed I am mute.
In a believe it or not, the only thing I want is you.

cas // o5.15.16

under streams

when I pulled the plastic life
it glowed in blood-red-streams
when I caught a paradise
it overgrew with weeds
when I stormed behind a mind
you’d see it through my eyes
when I set my feet on paths
I stumbled on the lies

I got that thingwhatdoyoucallitcrush?
you gave itandilikedtoomuch
you took itandiwishyoudcome
I want itandpleasegimmesome

when I wrote it down for you

I risked a bit of me
when I asked you what he was
I only saw the streams
when I lost myself I tried
but then I could not breathe
when the honey becomes milk
I'll cut down all 'dem weeds

cas // o5.14.16

CAKE: Or, GLORIOUS FOX

WHAT STARTS AS MOSTLY JUMBLED THOUGHTS:

I'm layers & layers of cake, O, glorious fox, come to me, and fox, eat this sweet. What would it be, if you tried me then? A tremendous monsoon, the smell of water? Flowers? Smooth, like warm, drawn butter?
     Prodigious one, Herculean one, powerful stratified.
     A baser abatoir as the base. Hemoglobin for days & days.
     Join me at our table for the next one up. What's it like, the next one up? Silky like scales of piebald creatures? Bottled like fumes from amplified jasmine? Money can't buy this, though they've tried for ages. Cash for the cake, no no, though you may have suggested it.
     In the purple zone I've got a field for two. Come, sweet fox, I'm making room. The firmament is full, my heart is warm, the bedsprings creak, when you wallow this one. Its in the woods, just a lead-foot away. First you choke, to get the remains.
     Its spring in the middle, and serious as rod. Knotted in the wood, and painful gain assured, I can take the grit, if you offer the chew.
     To the top its funny. I'm funny and there I am. Gimme the grins, and I'll give you the cake, each layer & layer from which I'm made.

BECOMES POETRY BUT STILL MOSTLY JUMBLED:

CAKE: Or, Glorious Fox

Come on fox, and eat this sweet,

like so many layers of layered cake.

Glorious fox, so much to say,

like all the words I fail to make.

But there's no matter what words may say,

if the music swings a certain way.

A baser abatoir at my base...

and hemoglobin, for days upon days.

Come here fox, I'll take your meat,

the firmament's thick with my layered sweet.

Totem, fumes, belief, beseech,

I'm making room for the springs to creak.

Creek like water if you daren't tried,

warm drawn butter to keep me alive.

Sated, filled & stratified...

bottled sawdust, amplified.

Give me arms, foxed in your embrace,

give me tails tucked around my waist.

Give me breath, no pain, no gain,

give me passion to last the age.

Darling fox, I'm keen to play,

for keeps and I would have it that way:

Give me the ardor and I'll give the cake...

each layer & layer from which I'm made.

CaS o5.o2.16

Wolfen

WOLFEN

Warped from incalescence, but I am cleansed by your blaze

Seized by wolfen whiskers, but I want them on my face

I’m answering the race, even though it can’t be called

I’m languishing the moments, you nailed me to the wall

Ablutionary sun, coalesced with murky dust

Revolutionary love, if you peel away the husk

Stimulated half-light, you give off with all your grins

Circulated blood-flow, rushing straight between the hips

Emission? But of course, you can trust I'll handle this

Leaking is an option, but it must be on my lips

Dividing every line, parting every single crease

I want you when you want me, of this you can believe

Those wolfen moves you make, me-on-all-fours, you-on-hind-legs

are the moves that take me there, and without them I might beg

And it’s not only your shifts, It’s your energy I crave

Purifying lovely, keeps me firm when knees would quake

Brother in the wild, straddle, paddle, whistle, whip

You must push it to the hilt, and I’ll take all that you can give

CaS o4.19.2o16

The Trouble with Wild

The Trouble with Wild

The trouble with Wild?

I want him too hard.

He's mixed with instinct,

And not without scars.

He grew in the tumult,

And came to me raw.

He baptized me splendor,

When I thought me flawed.

The desert became,

As a revered home.

Found rest in the spaces,

Bleached as bone.

Locked in the fortress,

Of walls made from sand.

The rule became barren,

And echoed the land.

Yet there, behold thee,

Like a ring on the moon,

Like a ring on a tree,

And a crescent of blue.

He came to me wild,

I christened him free.

He set me as much,

And he reached toward me.

A wind in the breach,

The eyes offered then.

They worked to assault,

The scales of my skin.

For scales became shell,

And sealed me inside,

No letting out.

Abandon denied.

The trouble with Wild?:

Does he want me as well?

Do secrets in forests,

Ever promise to tell?

I crawled and I crawled,

I won't go back again.

Splendor my splendor,

And please let me in.

-CaS

04.16.16

Wrapping Around

Opened and up and around and within,

Starving for death and for sex and for sin.

Between two minds, one whole and one thin,

Are my crystalline moments, with opaline skin.

Seeking a comfort that sways and then breaks,

Leaving the land in the hands on my waist.

Candles can make all the shadows embrace,

Themselves in a hallowed and moonlit place.

Skyborn & forlorn, coupled together,

Two bound as one, in a harness of leather.

Ipso my facto and nothing does better,

Than keeping the promise, to never say never.

And if I can kill the same man twice,

Will murdering then become my vice?

Between two eyes, one blue and one white,

My shifting devotion is kept in your sight.

Gratuitous brides permitting their rape,

With prickly pear trees carved into stakes:

A crimson sacrifice they may make,

At first to offer, but then to take.

Decorum, dressed up in shotgun shells,

She patiently waits for the ebb & swell,

Of all the ticklish tongues in hell,

To lap up her secrets, and never tell.

The tuna caught from last night's dream,

Is thrust on you with a twitch and a creme.

Look! Can you spy at the tops of the trees:

All the boys kissing, and growing their wings?

The prognosis; safe, sane, sound,

One fellating idiot going to town.

Between two legs, one up and one down,

Spreading apart, and wrapping around.

ThrillenCutt

Tying roses to ideas made of light & filament,

Make it thrilling make it cutting into my own sacrament.
Put the Pom upon the Yankee planted in the cameo,
And the dice will roll themselves in continental rodeo.

Then when the bulldog starts to cry,
You’ll see the vultures circle high.
Ought not to question his good deeds,
His word is half supposedly.

Claiming sisters for ourselves not thinking of anyone else,
Sending signals to our mother while she watches from the hills.
Put their names upon our foreheads read them back with poisoned lips,
And we’ll roll ourselves together into our own sacrilege.

Why? Why! Must she not be my kind?
Roped off, she’s soft & warm inside.
True tales are spun without the fringe,
False ones are tall because of Him.

Tying roses to a coffin made of vital ornaments,
Make them thrilling make them cutting into separate accidents.
Put the Bull onto the Rider make them swim in indigo,
And we’ll roll into a transmogrification blow by blow.

Soul-Reading...

*For those of you who may have read my Autobiographical substance-abuse entries thus far, this piece is loosely tied into Part 2.*

SOUL READING

Last night, you told me stories,

In a tongue I do not speak.

Tales of miserable wretches,

Full of sorrow, and oh so weak.

The words you used, described a place,

Empty and unwhole.

The destination you spoke of,

You professed, was my soul.

I let you in without realizing,

The havoc you might wreak.

Loosing a thousand canyons,

Made from polluted tendencies.

Life-lines mixed with Love-lines,

Mixed with suicidal bouts.

But what about the Sun-ones,

Tracing maps across my mouth?

Hearken to the sewage, 

Spewing from the cradle’s breadth:

Tantamount to savages,

In orbit, more or less.

The fluids birthing sepsis,

Plumed beside a precious veil,

Derive from jealous spirits,

Left inoperable and frail.

For its jealousy, that makes the bane,

That makes the carbon cut,

My soul into a million shards,

Cloaked in blood & lust.

Cursed am I, to want the bone,

That I can never have,

But given to, Diana’s moon,

And waxing in his hands.

The Longing starts, as brothers two,

But no, nothing more,

Shown to you, in weeping parts,

Wounded on the floor.

What you took, I did not give,

At least not by intent.

Last night, you read my soul to me,

And I, hate you, for it.

GONE

This crown of thorns don’t bear no fruit,
While Adam is split by a rigid root.
What does the soul of a living man weigh?
More than a dead one on any given day.
And your smile – the part where wonders align,
Is torn in half by the tears you cry.
You say you don’t want to believe it, but then,
They all went and auctioned your best ones again.
I’m GONE to the world, to the touch of his silk,
Can you taste the bitter of my thick, sweet milk?

For thine is the Kingdom, the Power, the Glory,
All over in one Holy Ghost of an orgy.
Captured in fractals from looking glasses,
While writhing around with unsavory masses.
With caution I swallow your one true confection,
Behind closed doors, and within my confession.
You say you don’t want to believe it, but then,
You cry from the other side of the Mountain.
I’ve GONE to the north, to the south, to the west,
Chased cowboys and Indians and silhouettes.

My compass draws nigh if I’m not mistaken,
As I bend to the ground to feel on your snakeskin.
Lassoed & damaged & lost & alone,
I’d go where I left but I haven’t a home.
A sick king am I, as I go for that crown,
Which bears no fruit and levels me down.
A rigid root, that splits my Adam,
And beckons me still, with or without it.
You say you don’t want to believe it, but then,
My soul goes from living to dead once again.
You say you don’t want to believe it, but then,
I’m GONE to the world, from beginning to end.

Origami Tigers

Stallions of a blacker hue, wait for my arrival,
While I differentiate, that stable from the bridle.

Outside gates, strung with hearts, from every love I lost,
Are wicked, cruel things, tempting all my thoughts to fill with frost.

Only certain kinds of gentlemen, can make it to the brink,
Because running to the edge, is more trying than you’d think.

That certain kind of gentleman, most assured could not be me,
I always end up turn back, when nothing’s what it seems.

The holly & the ivy grow, without a destined fate,
And atropa belladonna, packs a punch I cannot take.

While simple minds subvert the most lethal femme fatales,
A conduit, like the sunset, I rose and then I fell.

I’ll mine for diamonds, deep inside the Life-giving Spirit,
And leave my earthen body behind, as He has so proclaimed it.

This body, raised imperishable, then will make a change,
and turn up many flaxen masks, failing to masquerade.

Where, O death, is your victory, then followed by your sting?
When the Kingdom is inherited, and all the trumpets sing?

The sting is you, and the power of It, can only be the Law,
My stallions are resurrecting, in the ruins of Camelot.

Heavenly bodies, strung up with each & every love I lost,
Onyx temples, cooling in the fires of my frost.

Knights in armor, melted down, from my unfiltered rage,
Origami Tigers, roaming free of paper cage.

Blossom, child, hear my calls, and beg for grace in vain,
A banshee never left me in the womb, without a name.

My howling joins a chorus of decrepit harmonies,
But when I hum with Medusa, it forms a symphony.

Questions raise more questions, and only shatter on the wall,
And learning all the answers, does more pushing than it pulls.

I loved you, then I loved you, and then everything ran dry,
And you left me without reason, not so much as a goodbye.


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